expatcapi

NO GOLF LESSONS

Thu, 24 Mar 2016 20:33:35 +0000

There is one thing I totally didn’t anticipate when I made the move to be an American expat in Jamaica. If you know me you would know this is uncommon. I pretty much have my shit together so an oversight of this sort really shakes up my world.

When I was offered my job it was a dream come true. I couldn’t believe the opportunity I was given. These people wanted me to be a marketer for a globally known lifestyle brand, live on the beach and bask in the sun 365 days a year? As we all know I immediately said, “DEAL!” Wait, they also offered to set me up with a comprehensive expat package so I wouldn’t have to worry about finding a house, car, etc? It was this precise moment I handed over my first-born child.

So here I was living the life. Salty and sunburned 24/7. Then it happened. After the initial honeymoon period of about 1 week, my company expected me to work.Sure, of course I knew I would have to work, I’m not delusional; I just didn’t realize I would have to workthis hard. Like I work hard, really, really hard.

You see, I was so intoxicated with how fabulous my personal and family life was going to change that I never considered the change to my professional life. I naively expected that between swimming with dolphins and zip lining through island jungles I would put in an easy 8 hours at the office, Monday through Friday. I never expected that the company that moved me all the way to Jamaica and set me up with a handsome expat package would really expect more of me than say an agency in Kansas City would.

WRONG!

I knew I was in trouble when I mentioned I was taking golf lessons and a top executive in the company said, “You have time to take golf lessons.” It was at that very moment my PGA dreams died.

I know it doesn’t sound bad when you read it but it was all in his delivery, such disdain, such judgment, so much disappointment. In that small moment he shamed me in to quitting my golf lessons. Sniff-sniff. In fact I write this blog from a dark closet in the wee hours of the night, in fear that I may get caught with free time on my hand that I have not allocated towards work.

Moral of the story: If your company moves you to another country to work, good for you! They obviously think you’re awesome. Just know that you are accepting a major shift in work/life balance and be ready for it the minute you touch down. Expat life doesn’t allow for getting acclimated to your new environment. You will be expected to hit the ground running, no golf lessons for you.

YOUR NEW CULTURE

Sun, 17 Jan 2016 22:02:41 +0000

Thinking about moving to a new country or already moved and still trying to understand the culture? Here’s a few tips:

Follow a Local Blogger or Writer

Through work I connected with Janet Silvera, an influential writer for Jamaica’s respected newspaper, The Gleaner. She also lives in my neighborhood. Did I mention it’s a small island? I love reading Janet’s Facebook posts. She is smart, intelligent and witty. I appreciate how candid she is. She isn’t afraid to call out some of the shortcomingsof her culture and government, yet she still celebrates the beauty of the island and its people.

Read the NewspaperOnce I started reading the local newspaper things started to make sense to me. I began to understand the culture more. I understood the dialect better and had the chance to hear the perspectives of people I would typically never have the opportunity to interact with. There was a recent story on how one of the world’s top Cricket stars, Jamaican born, Chris Gayle came under fire for how he treated a female sportscaster after a game. In world news he was blasted for his sexist remarks to a female sportscaster.

The local paper offered great insight as to why he may not have thought his remarks would cause so much friction.

One woman told The Gleaner, "He was just giving her a compliment. 'Baby' is a normal ting. You walking on the road, at you work place, no matter where you go, men will call you baby. Men call me baby, fluffy, sexy, browning and mi just answer. Mi nuh see nothing wrong with what him do.”Another states, “We are brought up in a culture which says that they are unequal relations between men and women as groups and so we have to advocate for a change in attitudes and behaviours.”

Go LocalMontego Bay is a city that thrives on tourism and has a healthy expat community. There are days where I don’t drive more than 3 miles. Seriously, three miles, the whole day, for days in a row. I make it a point to immerse myself in the local community a few times a month.

I love this photo from the Annual Mobay Marlin Tournament. Jamaican, American, Canadian, Indian, Asian... there are so many cultures represented here. Nevermind its me representing more than half of those cultures.

But don't think you have to go to huge parties to celebrate the diversity of the culture. You can do something as small as going to a truly local bar or restaurant. Eat a fish head. That will get you a lot of street cred real fast!

Talk the TalkTry to speak the local language or dialect, no matter how hard or how stupid you sound. It's always appreciated. Patois is english based and pretty easy to get a hang of.

Make Relationships

Be sure not to alienate yourself and interact only with expats. My office is a great blend of locals and expats. Office parties are so much fun and typically consist of high rum consumption mixed with the local ladies teaching the expats how to One Drop. Don't know what the One Drop is?

Here you go...

I'M A STAR

Thu, 26 Nov 2015 15:31:32 +0000

Thanks to the sweet Brown Mom atBrownMomAbroad.comfor featuring me in her blog about "parenting and waderlust as an expat mom".Click hereto check our yours truly. It has been so cool to share the expat experience with moms around the world.

TAKES SOME GETTING USED TO

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 22:08:24 +0000

Some things you will never get used to.

For instance, boxed, unrefrigerated milk. Everything about it seems wrong.

A quick google search has taught me this is common throughout the world but Americans have never embraced it. But how can I unknow what I know... milk left out must be thrown away! Yet here I am an American Expat in Jamaica, standing in front of rows of shelves stocked with milk.My confusion is clear because

a sweet Jamaican sees me and says “Yah mon, everyting is okay, di milk is good.” I smile politely, write her off as being bat sh*t crazy and carry

on with my shopping.

But now my shopping has turned into profiling. I find myself peeking into other people’s carts to confirm my notion that all milk must be chilled. All I see is cart after cart of betrayal. Happy, fit, healthy people with warm, boxed milk. Madness I tell you.

Another Google search tells me it is merely how the milk is pasturized - a UHT method that allows it to last longer and eliminates the need for refridgeration until it is opened. It's still weird.

I bought the milk. The family is still alive. No food poisoning. Moral of the story - some things you will never get used to.

I WISH I KNEW...

Mon, 16 Nov 2015 01:36:25 +0000

I don't think anyone can truly be prepared for their first move out of the country. It is exhilirating and scary all at the same time. Here are a few things I learned when I made the decision to become an American expat in Montego Bay, Jamaica.

To Pack or Not to Pack

We moved into a place that was fully furnished. Although it was lovely, as an expat in a new culture it is critical you have some familiar comforts of home. It’s not like you can run to an Ikea or Target and buy cute stuff. Be sure to pack a few signature knick knacks, a comfy throw, candles and a couple things for your wall. It’s totally worth it. On the other hand, be sure to pack light. Live in your new place for a few months, see what you need and bring it back next time you visit your home country.

The Speed of Life

Things move so slowly here. If you plan to go out to dinner, eat something beforehand. Otherwise, the likelihood of you starving while waiting for dinner exponentially increases. If you go to the store and need a price check on something… throw in the towel. Your day is screwed. You know Nike’s slogan “Just Do It.” You can buy a shirt in any Jamaican gift shop that says, “Just Do It Later.” It’s funny because it’s true.

Island Life isn’t Cheap – The first trip to the grocery store is enough to make an American expat book the first flight home. There are two reasons for this. #1 - Prices are in Jamaican dollars. It’s shocking to see eggs for $385. The conversion is about USD $3.50 but seeing any food in the hundreds is rough the first few times around. #2 - It is so expensive! I never thought about it but it takes a lot of effort to get goods on the island. It has to be flown or shipped in, then customs and duty are paid thus driving up the final sale price. If you want an apple, be prepared to spend USD $4 on it.

How Much I Would Miss American Holidays

I miss 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas and so on. Don’t get me wrong. There are some great holidays in Jamaica, and trust me, Jamaicans know how to celebrate, but I actually miss the ridiculously excessive lengths Americans go to for holidays. The tree decorated to the point you can no longer see the tree, a 20 lb turkey for a family of 5, fireworks all over the city. sniff-sniff. I miss it.

Friendship 101

I’ve never had a hard time making friends. Never. I moved here with my husband and daughter and not having a large circle of friends actually allowed us to grow closer as a family. I think a lot of locals and long-term expats are weary of new expats because they are used to seeing so many come and go. On the flip side. You will have friends coming out of the woodwork wanting to visit you in Jamaica – a.k.a, they want a place to stay :)

TINY EXPATS

Thu, 22 Oct 2015 14:30:43 +0000

retty excited to be featured onTiny Expatschatting about keeping expat kids grounded. Check it out by clicking here - Helping your expat child to stay grounded

ONE DAY IN MONTEGO BAY

Tue, 13 Oct 2015 22:46:36 +0000

Every week I look out my bedroom window and see a cruise ship come into port. I love thinking about all the passengers on board being so excited to spend the next few hours in Montego Bay Jamaica. If I had only one day in Montego Bay this is what I would do:

Transport(30 mins)

I’d get the party started by using the Hop On – Hop Off shuttle service offered by Carnival. You get dropped off in the heart of Montego Bay’s Hip Strip. It’s great deal if you’re not a savvy traveler and don’t care to negotiate rates with a taxi driver.

White Sand Beach(2.5 hours)

I wholeheartedly believe that if you are in the Caribbean you must touch sand and sea. It would be silly not to, right? Jamaica is famous for white sand beaches and in Mobay there is no place more famous thanDoctor’s Cave, right on the Hip Strip. Way back when it used to actually be caves but the sea has since washed them away. The water atDoctor’s Caveis known to have healing powers. Honestly, I believe ALL Caribbean water to be healing. From my personal experience the Caribbean Sea has been the cure for minor cuts and scrapes, hang overs, fussy children, aching bodies, frustrated husbands and possibly, just maybe, my self-diagnosed broken toe.

Here’s a local secret, just to the left ofDoctor’s Cavetucked in a little alcove is a sports bar calledBigg’s. I posted this picture from a previouspost. Same sand and water as Doctor’s, just not the popular name. Walk on down the stairs to the beach.

Puppet, the beach attendant will greet you and take the opportunity to sell you some weed. Don't freak out. This will happen a lot. You don’t have to buy any weed but you can rent an umbrella from him, or post up under the huge almond tree for shade. Be sure to place an order for food or drinks. You see, atDoctor’s Caveyou have to pay for entry, umbrellas, chairs, etc.Bigg’sdoesn’t have all those amenities but they let you use the beach for free when you order from their menu.

Margaritaville(2 hours)

You must stop here -Margaritavilleon the Hip Strip is a Montego Bay staple. Don’t cheat yourself either. Order the house “Who’s to Blame” margarita. Now listen, I work forMargaritavilleHome Office and I don’t want to make Jimmy Buffett mad… but the truth isMargaritavilleMontego Bay isn’t so much about the margarita.

It’s all about that slide YO! It’s dope!

Don’t let it fool you. It is faster and scarier than one would think. It dips you straight into the Caribbean Sea. Life jackets are available for non-swimmers because the water at the end of the slide is 14-16 ft deep.

When you shoot out the bottom into the warm Caribbean water you are a solid 10 feet from the slide opening. After that, swim over and test your athleticism on the aqua park. Basically if you are over 15 years old you will be reminded of how out of shape and overweight you are and will wake up sore the next day.

Like Bigg’s, theMargaritavilleslide and aqua park are free to allMargaritavilledining and bar guests.

Fill My Belly(1 hour)

There are two options here. You can stay atMargaritaville. The Blackened Shrimp Tacos are delish and the Volcano Nachos are picture worthy. I won’t talk too much aboutMargaritavillebecause I work for the man and don’t want to seem too biased.

That leads me to the Pork Pit. It's a short 10 minute walk from Margaritaville. You definately do not need to pay a taxi man. No website, no fluff, just pork in all its jerked glory being cooked under a 300 year old cotton tree. If I could marry a restaurant I would marry the Pork Pit. It's simple, carefree, unassuming and an all-around, pork cooking, bad ass. I have a small appetite so I can never go wrong with an order of ¼ pork, one festival and wata (Jamaican bottled water). Be sure you get the BBQ sauce. It’s a sweet delicious treat! If you have a bigger appetite go for 1lb of pork and a few festivals. Personally, I don’t order the chicken because more than once it was too pink inside. This may dissuade some people from eating there but the pork is that good!

Rehydrate(a few island minutes)

After you take the shuttle back to the port, stop by and see "OK" the Coconut Man. Coconut water is an island favorite and great way to rehydrate after a day of drinking and sun worshipping. You can find OK on the road right across the street from the cruise port. Coconuts run about $2-$3 on a ship day Selling coconuts for a couple bucks is how OK makes his money so don’t be a cheap-o and try to negotiate. Pay the man and enjoy the deliciousness of the island!

This is it. This is what one day in paradise looks like for me

AMERICAN EXCESS

Sun, 04 Oct 2015 21:26:33 +0000

“I like my money. I work hard for my money. I don’t see a problem with three weekly trips to Target. Seems reasonable. I mean… you can’t bury me with my money so I might as well spend it. Let’s go on vacation!”

This was “Living in America Capi.” Expat Capi, – totally different.

With the exception of groceries (which are expensive) I can’t spend my money carelessly in Montego Bay, no matter how hard I try. And trust me, I have tried. Frustration over a lack of overindulgence and a longing for immediate purchase gratification are both tell-tale signs of island fever. As an American expat, IT HITS HARD. We are accustomed to access. Access to spend $65 on dachshund-shaped dog book-ends, snowflake shaped placemats for the Frozen theme party and of course, Target. We deserve Target.

I bet you are thinking, “Get over it, just shop online.”

Hear me, really hear me – it’s not the same. I have to wait weeks. Weeks until an unsuspecting friend visits from the US only to find out they are part of my dirty scheme to get MAC make-up and Glade plug-ins on the island via their checked luggage. This involves strategy and planning. Shipping to Jamaica is hardly an option unless you don’t really care about getting your stuff at all.

I wasn’t certain I was going to make it through the other side of the dreaded island fever, and then it happened. My beloved Fit Bit bracelet broke. I was devastated. How would I be able to track how physically unfit I was without my Fit Bit? Eventually, days turned into weeks, which turned into months and the bitter sting of losing my Fit Bit was offset by other tragedies like needing... wait, no, wanting... Sharpies in nine different colors and a scratched lens on my designer sunglasses.

Anyways, eventually I made it through and now i’m accustomed to my money not burning a hole in my pocket, it’s kinda nice. In fact, when I last went to the United States I was completely overwhelmed with how easily I could spend thousands of dollars in a 5 mile radius from my hotel. I mean… how do Americans save any money? It seems impossible with so many opportunities to spend it all.

Maybe this is more a lesson in my lack of self-control. It took a move to a new country, a few thousand miles of open ocean and a year as an American expat in the Caribbean for me to save a few bucks. “Yeah me!” (and shame on me for it taking so much and so long) but mostly, “Yeah me!”

As for those dacshund book-ends. It’s a legit thing and I need them. Check em out below.

THE "Q"

Wed, 29 Jul 2015 21:18:00 +0000

In Jamaica there is a FABULOUS concept – The Q. It makes drinking way more fun than any American bar. I don’t know if this is a standard offering in other countries but if it is, I plan to visit those countries too. You see, part of my little expat life in Montego Bay involves a lot of social drinking. Let’s jusy say it’s the industry I’m in. After a while it can get pricey ordering drinks by the glass.

Enter the Q. You can order a Q of alcohol and a lovely Jamaican server brings it to your table, (most likely a beachfront table) with all the mixers and ice for $10… TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS!I couldn’t tell you the exact measurement for a Q. Logically you would guess a quart but it is definitely smaller than that.

My favorite part. It comes in whatever bottle is available. One time I ordered a Q of vodka at Memorabilia, a funky Montego Bay bar. It was delivered in a brandy bottle. Seems legit. My favorite is when it comes in a litre bottle that is ¾ of the way gone.

When the waitress comes it’s like opening a gift, you never know what you are going to get!

THE JAMAICAN HELPER

Fri, 24 Jul 2015 20:56:00 +0000

We have a Jamaican helper.

The real deal, uniform and all. Her name is Miss Olive and I love her.

She makes my life so completely and totally awesome! As an American, having in-house help in the form of a nanny, maid or personal chef is reserved for the wealthy. I'm not the "wealthy", not even close. But then I get to Jamaica.

Mind. Blown.

First off, a Jamaican helper is far more cost-effective than any after-school care offered in the US. Oh yeah... and way more AWESOME! My helper, Miss Olive makes my life easy. In fact, she makes my life spectacular. All Y-Care did for me in Kansas was send my daughter home with Popsicle sticks glued together and about 5,000 drawings on random pieces of scrap paper. But since the day Olive walked into my life my skin glows brighter, I'm funnier, and possibly thinner. Okay, maybe that's not true but it sometimes feels like it.

Here's the deal - everyday I come home to a happy, cared for child... which is great but the awesomeness doesn't stop there. She cleans my house.

The WHOLE damn house. Everyday. Top to bottom.

She washes my clothes too. She has been with us for nearly a year and that part is still weird. I'm not very domestic so she also does random things that I didn't even realize people did like clean the top of the fridge and organize the cupboards. Did I mention how much I love Miss Olive.

Moral of the story, if you find yourself as an expat in the Caribbean, do yourself a favor and link up with a Caribbean helper. Make your world better.

EXPAT EDUCATION 101

Fri, 10 Jul 2015 20:17:00 +0000

Last night Lucki and I are doing homework. It’s painfully traumatic for both of us. She’s in 2nd grade but they work out of 3rd grade text books. We are doing long division… with remainders. Remainders people! Why a 7 year old needs to know how many times 4 can go into 643 is beyond me. The tears start to flow and soon after comes the crying. Either I have drowned out the sound or it’s the kind of crying where no noise comes out. I can't tell. All I know is this is -

Real. Legit. Crying.

Lucki drags me out of the fetal position, splashes water on my tear-stained face and tells me to pull myself together. Back to reality.

My daughter is in one of the top Montego Bayprivate schools, Heinz Simonitsch. It’s located on one of the fanciest of schmanciest properties in MoBay. Don’t let the 5-star resort rating fool you. Heinz is a beast when it comes to early education, teaching based on the British curriculum. Per the school they follow “the Ministry of Education’s curriculum, but adds it own program for enrichment.” When I registered Lucki, the school’s Director didn’t know if she would be ready for 2nd grade for a few reasons:

They do the whole - teaching a year ahead - thing“the American education system is soft.” Her words, not mine.

How dare she so bluntly call out the country I call home, the good ole’ U.S. of A! I explained how my daughter was fairly brilliant, was in a top Kansas school, well-adjusted and very much prepared for whatever they had to offer… my soapbox was so high the air was getting thin.

Well, as we come to a close on the 2014-2015 school year I am now the converted. I wholly agree the American school system is in fact “soft.” Honestly, we aren’t doing our children any favors. We make so many excuses for them. One after another. The part most challenging about our first year in a Jamaican school wasn't necessarily the curriculum (did I mention Lucki is brilliant?), it was the level of accountability placed on students that we weren't prepared for. Here's the deal - parents aren't allowed to pop into the classroom with forgotten lunches and assignments. Teachers don’t send an email with the weekly update or lesson plan, nor do they have an online “backpack” for parents to check daily. Most importantly, Heinz Simonitsch students have actual consequences for ill behavior that an American school would cringe at – like, dare I say, holding your arms in front of you at the chalkboard… for all to see! In the US we would probably refer to that as bullying or shaming, but never discipline.

Found in Montego Bay - A rare item often referred to as a chalkboard

Students are responsible for their own efforts and actions! This is so not like North America where we have basically removed all responsibilities, and opportunities for a child to experience failure. Then we sit confused as to why young adults are entitled and seem lazy. As it stands now - if Lucki doesn’t write down her homework assignments, or doesn’t bring the proper books and resources home to complete her work, it’s on her. What a novel idea this is! I think Heinz Simonitsch may be onto something.

I'll give you some time to soak that in before I talk about how kids actually play outside here...

WHAT A VIEW

Thu, 02 Jul 2015 21:09:00 +0000

Let's talk about things that don't suck.

This. View.

This is my local Montego Bay beach of choice. It is a solid 3 miles from my house but I make the long trek (What? In a small town 3 miles is a long way.) because they serve bottles of rum and vodka on the beach with all your mixers. You are your own bartender! I'll give you a minute to soak that in. Just when I am convinced that my Jamaican expat life can't get any more awesome. Someone anchors their fabulous yacht in front of me and reminds me there are other people out there living even more spectacular lives than mine.

BEST. JOB. EVER

Mon, 15 Jun 2015 19:32:00 +0000

Who are these people and where do they work?"

That was my internal dialogue while watching House Hunters International from my Kansas City suburban home. I longed for a job that would ship me to a Caribbean island, give me a housing allowance and earn me the title of American Expat Extraordinaire. Every summer the husband and I would sit in our Adirondack chairs, sip cocktails and I would say, "Wouldn't it be nice if we had a view of water instead of Julio mowing his lawn?" Don't get me wrong Julio and Katie are are lovely couple with a beautiful home but this is the view I dreamt of.

Then something happened. Somewhere along the line my life got really awesome. I got the call of a lifetime. Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Caribbean was looking to ramp up their marketing team. "Candidates must be willing to live and work in Montego Bay, Jamaica."

Sign. Me. Up.

My husband and I both fit the role they were looking to fill so we both applied. Might as well increase our odds right. After a few phone interviews, on-island, face-to-face interviews and many rums later we both left the island with job offers. What's the term they use? Oh yeah, NAILED IT!

One month later we were on a flight to Jamaica with a 7 year old and nine checked bags filled with our worldly possessions. And by worldly possessions I mean sunscreen, bug spray and fluffy towels. My husband must have interviewed better because he is now my boss. Nothing like an international move and working with your spouse to... that's another post.

Anyways, my job is crazy awesome. People come to Margaritaville to have the best day ever. I am paid to think of new ways to make that happen across four islands and counting. No problem.

This is what my day is looking like so far:

HELLO WORLD!

Tue, 09 Jun 2015 19:28:00 +0000

I remember taking a vacation to Riviera Maya and it rained for ½, of one day. I was devastated. How could Mother Nature play such a cruel, cruel joke on me. After a bitter Kansas winter this California-raised girl deserved sun!

Now, here I sit, in Montego Bay, Jamaica and it’s pouring outside.

Surprisingly, I could care less. It can rain for a week. Why? Because I LIVE in Jamaica. How crazy is that? I actually live here, in paradise. I live in a place where people dream of spending 5 days and 4 nights at an all-inclusive resort. Wait, I don’t just live here, I work here too. In fact, I scored a killer job in marketing for a massive lifestyle brand. I am an expat living in Jamaica.

Nearly one year later and I still can’t believe this is my life in Jamaica. Five random things I have learned in my short time.

Mangoes grow like weeds here. You can pick them off any tree. Nobody will yell at you.Jamaican men have no problem peeing on the side of the road.It isn’t scary here – not in the day, not at night. Just like you wouldn’t walk down certain streets in Detroit, Michigan, you shouldn’t in Montego Bay. Common sense people.Apparently children can play outside without supervision and remain perfectly safe. They are also capable of so much more than we expect.Having Jamaican helpers (gardener, au pair, housekeeper) in your home is very common and affordable. Best part – it allows you time to focus on more important things than cleaning the house or mowing the lawn. You know, like your kids and spouse.

This is Jamaica. This is my expat life. This is me.